Just....I don't know!

Today is Valentine's day and for some reason it's a different kind of valentines day than the rest I have had. I have gained new love for people and I have lost some to God who took some of the ones I love..Like my bubba ..I wish he was still here all the time and I think no one can know the type of heartache you carry on your heart until they have actually lost a sibling they loved and adored so much..I thought hte other night when me and kyle went to the hospital how much I do dread having sydney..just because I really wanted my whole family there and I wont' have that now that Shane is gone and I wish he was still her..but than I realized that he WILL be there with us all..I know we won't be able to see him but I know when she arrives he will be looking down on us and will see how beautiful she is and how much we all miss him! Me and Kyle the other night went out to the movies which was fun because it was somehting we had been needing to do for a while now! It put us both in a really good mood and I was VERY HAPPY becuase it was just a night of me and him! lol..he is truly one person that makes me super duper happy and I know that he will be a good daddy..lol he cracks me up..especailly when he goof off like in this picture..

lol he always makes me smile which I love to death!!I know that life will only get better from here on out ..and yeah we may have some troubling times through this journey we call life but I know we will be fine!