The worst day of my life!

You know when you get that feeling that something terrible is about to happen but you really don't know what it is? Well i got that feeling about a week ago and real early Sunday morning I woke up to hear the most unbearable news I could ever hear.It was my oldest brother David calling to tell me that my other brother Shane was in a car wreck and he had died!!Now what are you suppose to say or even do when you hang up the phone from hearing the worst news you could possibly hear at 5:00 in the morning..I couldn't speak!I layed there in shock for a moment because well honestly i didn't want to believe it! I mean come on it's BAM BAM..one of the coolest brothers a girl could ever have..from the way he laughed to the way he smiled.lol even his little goofy dance he did when no one was looking at him. He was truly an amazing person who i will always remember and Love with all of my heart! I remember one night staying up super duper late in december when i went to visit all of them in sallisaw and it was just me and dorky brother bam up laughing our heads off and telling each other really serouis stuff like the kinda stuff you let no one else ever know about! He was a brother that can't ever be replaced! I went to view his body today thinking I could handle it but I broke down like I have never done before..looking at him was the worst idea ever..he didn't even look like the Bam I remembered in my heart and mind, He was different than I remembered. But either way I will always miss him no matter what and tomorrow at the funeral I plan to be strong and hold my head up high for him. I worry so much now about my other three brothers , especially Travis and Big Boy..they are having the hardest time out of all of us dealing with Bams death and I worry that i will loose them too but I know that Bam will protect them. Kyles family has tried to help me tremendously but honestly nothing could help me except to see his pretty smile and face again!!When you loose someone yeah you want comfort from people but sometimes its too hard to want or need help to grieve over the one you lost.Sunday I had this heavy pain on my heart..like it had dropped to the floor and i couldn't bring it back up.I couldn't except the fact that he was gone and I still can't, I don't want too.I am holding on to all the memories I have of him and won't ever let them fade away from my heart! On the way to Kyles grandmas house the Avril Lavigne song "when your gone" came on the radio and I had to stop the car because i couldn't handle the pain in my heart and all the tears that were rolling down my cheeks,I couldn't take it! Kyles family did thier best to cheer me up but I just cried even more..and I love and thank them for being there when I needed them the most, especailly Kyle.All I know is I will never be able to get rid of the pain that lingers in my heart where no one else can see it, It will always be there and I will never forget Shane Charles "Bam Bam" Watie, he was one of the most amazing people and the awesomest brother ever and I know he will always be watching over all of us no matter where we are at in this world..he will never leave us for he is always in our hearts!
IN LOVING MEMORY OF SHANE CHARLES "BAM BAM" WATIE!!!! I LOVE YOU BROTHER AND ALWAYS WILL REMEMBER YOU!!!